Brain Rambles

Thoughts on Love and Life,

Successful life relationships demand many things of us: Trust, fidelity, compromise, kindness and greatest of all, love.
When compared to how long the earth has existed, each human life is a blink in time. When we’re young the concept of death is an abstract. Perhaps we have a sense that life will go on forever. Sadly, it doesn’t. I learned this truth the hard way when my beloved wife died. Her death made it clear to me how valuable my time with her had been and how precious. Time to learn, work, and achieve, time to love and raise a family. Life allowed me time to be with the woman I loved and considered as nearly perfect as a woman can be. But there is an unavoidable truth that we discover near the end; we will all wish we could go back and do life again…always believing we will get it right the second time. We are certain that by applying what we’ve learned in our first limited life span we would now do it better. I know I feel that way. If only I could go back, taking with me the knowledge I’ve gained through the experience of having lived. I would fix all I didn’t do as well as I might have the first time. If only we could. But beware, as that’s a dream that won’t come true…we don’t get that opportunity. Is there nothing we can do about this truth?

In my case I would try to make my relationship with my children even closer than it was. I could have done better. As for my wife, during her life we shared what she called a fifty-five-year love affair…her words. It’s true, we did, but it wasn’t enough. I could have done better. We don’t always pay attention to that which is truly valuable in our lives until it’s too late. We don’t always appreciate the value of what’s right in front of us daily until it’s gone. The great philosopher Schopenhauer said, “Loss teaches us the value of things.” I would expand this observation saying: Death teaches us the value of those we love in this life.” Inevitably there will be times when a child or our spouse seems a trial, testing our patience. How insignificant that disagreement will seem if that loved person is gone forever. We often remain blind to the truth that in death, we will learn the true value of someone we loved…but it will be too late to love them more and show it. That fact that should be stressed to our children. Hopefully, they will grasp the meaning of the words: Death teaches us the value of those we love. Don’t wait until it’s too late to learn the value of those words. We should constantly remind ourselves that the greatest lesson we can ever learn is to love and be loved in return. Love is the meaning of life. Without love we just exist.
Paul Marshall