LIFE AND LOVE AS I SEE IT
ROMANCE, MARRIAGE, FAMILY, OUR CULTURE AND OTHER MADNESS
My name is Paul Marshall, and this is my first experience blogging. I intend to post twice a week and see how it goes. I encourage and welcome friendly, intelligent involvement and feedback. Angry people will be shown the door. Discussion yes, Anger No. I want my blog to be a useful, thoughtful, and happy place where life can be considered in all its aspects, the good and and the not so good. As the title of my blog suggests, I will be writing about love, marriage, family, commitment, our culture, and topics that I believe in. I’m a guy who likes a love story. That should tell you something about the kind of man I am. Hopefully, readers will find something here worth thinking about. Of course, I’ll be telling you about my book, LOVE & STARDUST, and new writing projects I’m working on.
Here is my disclaimer: Be aware that I am not a trained therapist or counselor, so my opinions are not meant to be taken as professional advice. Those with issues challenging them should seek professional help. My opinions are based on personal experience, and my own research and conclusions about love, relationships, staying committed and keeping romance alive for a lifetime. I will also be addressing concerns I have with our current culture, a topic about which I have many issues.
LOVE & STARDUST is a true story of my fifty-five-year love affair with an exceptional woman. Her name was Dolly. Actually, it was Anna Louise but she was always known as Dolly. I prefer to think of my book as a love story about real people rather than a typical memoir. All situations happened and are true. Dialog is created based on my best memory of what was said at the time.
We were kids when we met at age sixteen. We married at twenty-one and for the next fifty years shared a passionate, loving marriage, one not without its challenges, but we faced them as lovers. One day with little warning, Dolly died leaving me to try and cope with loss and grief alone and badly I’m afraid. Ultimately, I managed to survive with the help of family and by writing the book, Love & Stardust which saved me.
I’m attaching the front and back covers of my book. The Angel in Stardust on the cover is my late wife Dolly, the woman who gave meaning to my life. The photograph comes from my eye and lens as in my career I was a professional photographer supplying advertising and corporate communications clients with above average imagery.
You can learn more about Dolly and Paul by reading the attached back cover of my book. Love & Stardust is now available on Amazon or by ordering from other book sellers. To purchase a copy, visit my website at: www.paulmarshallwrites.com Click on the buy now button and it will take you to the correct place in Amazon’s bookstore.
You may also want to know that there are other authors who possess the name, Paul Marshall. They are not me! If I had known about them before I published my book, I would have adjusted my name…an extra initial, my middle name or something. Amazon, in their efficiency, rely on computers to be able to think…they can’t! Consequently, a machine put some other Paul Marshall’s photo next to the cover of my book on my sales page. Just my luck. I’ve since had replaced with my image.
I’m a man who believes love is the most important thing in life. I also think love and marriage are the foundation upon which a heathy society is built. Sadly today, marriage seems to be at risk. Nearly half of all unions end in divorce. There is also a well-established trend toward living together without making the commitment of marriage. I assume some of those “partnerships” work out okay; statistics are not easily available. I admit I don’t know the following for fact, but it seems there is a fear of committed marriage causing many couples to choose living together to ‘leave the back door open’ so on that already anticipated day when things don’t seem to be working out, they’ll be able to easily move on to the next partner. Have people become so unsure of their ability to commit to, “until death do us part” that they tremble at the thought of one love for a lifetime. Do we approach each other with a love no deeper than the feelings we have for our car, knowing we will be trading it in eventually to get a “new” model? I find this incredibly sad, to say nothing of weak and cowardly.
Dolly was the only real girlfriend I ever had. When I was twenty-one, I’d already been with her for five years, going steady (something we did in nineteen fifty-nine) and then engaged. I couldn’t wait to get her into church where I would promise her my heart, soul and love forever. I wanted her for my own and never considered leaving a back or front doors open, not even a crack. I knew she was the one, I adored her and feared losing her. Happily, I never did. Not, that is, until her death, an event which nearly destroyed my desire to go on. I saw no life for me without her. That’s what true love and commitment are. We kept the music playing and our romance vibrant and alive for the fifty-five-years we spent together. It can be done.
Go ahead, ask me ‘the question,’ you’re thinking: ‘Didn’t you ever disagree, argue or fight?‘ Yes, of course we did. We were human. But we lived by a rule that we’ve all heard so often it’s become cliché: Never go to bed angry. We kept to that rule. It smooths lots of disagreements. Find a solution acceptable to both and compromise. It works and is something our two-party government should remember and take to heart. It’s the reason our Constitution calls for more than one party, so a balance can be achieved that will serve all the people or in the case of a marriage, both halves, the Yin, and the Yang. Marriage requires compromise, always. And never go to bed angry. There is an additional benefit to this practice…once in bed, making up is so much fun. I know from happy experience.
I was raised a Catholic but have questioned God’s existence and many of the teachings of the Church most of my adult life. Today I consider myself agnostic. However, I do accept many of the words attributed to the man we know as Jesus of Nazareth. There is proof enough he existed. Son of God? Miraculous? There are no proofs for any of that. Did Jesus teach love and kindness…it would seem so, and one quote attributed to him is a favorite. I reduce it here to only three words:
“Love one another.” The entire passage is longer but that is the essence of the passage. Know that I am not against people who find happiness and comfort in their religious beliefs. I have no issue with the faith of others. If it works then I’m happy for you. It is not my mission to convince anyone to think as I do. I trust in the old saying, ‘Never discuss religion or politics.’ It’s good advice so although I’ve touched briefly on both, I tend to avoid the subjects most of the time. Political discussion is banned in my house…completely. It goes nowhere and people get terribly angry with each other when they can’t agree. Why bother. Leave it outside and remain happy friends. Live and let live, another cliché’ filled with truth. Trust in the old saying, never discuss religion or politics. Centuries of people have been trying to convince others that their way is best. It’s never successful.
The following remark is not meant as a pitch, but if you read my book, you’ll understand me a lot more. Some of you may have followed me on Facebook so will have a fairly good idea of “where I’m coming from.” In a nutshell, I believe in love. Without it life is just empty existence. It’s what makes life beautiful and worthwhile. If love were universally practiced, we would have a much happier world.
When I was growing up it was the golden age of music. Most music was about love as were a large portion of the movies. I think many believed that happy ever after was possible…Dolly and I did, and we were right, at least for us. It was a kinder time. We used to “dress up” back then. No one would ever consider attending a wedding in casual dress. Women did their best to look “polished.” Most men probably don’t own a suit anymore. Today, we dress down, and have in my opinion lost nearly all sense of style and elegance. Obscene language is used everywhere, sadly by both sexes now and is considered normal in movies and on home TV. Kids grow up hearing it and think it’s okay. I don’t. I think it degrades us and lowers our quality of life. Manners are lacking. As for morals and ethics… nearly extinct. Many girls today dress like hookers. They have no sense of what is acceptable and in good taste. They don’t understand how to tease with their dress. They throw everything they’ve out there, something I don’t find appealing. Rather, I think it’s sleazy. The most financially successful novel of the recent past was about physical cruelty and bondage. Is this what we want for our children? We as a culture, are in a down trend.
We are leaping forward medically, technologically and scientifically. Sadly in areas such as higher education in America we are slipping backwards. In America only the minority that can afford it receive top quality education. It’s a big mistake. Other countries are educating their best, brightest, and most promising and those students don’t come away from that education buried in student loan debt. We are slipping behind in many other areas and no one seems to notice or care that its happening. If we can afford each new thousand dollar cell phone, we think life is good. It’s not. Yes, we are defeating many diseases, a wonderful thing. Yes, there are decent people in the world doing good works and caring about family and their fellow man. But there is a quiet disease that is going to destroy us if we don’t change, and I don’t mean Covid. It’s always possible I’m wrong; just a guy living in a past when people cared about appearance, elegance, good taste and caring for each other. Perhaps we can address some of these topics in future posts. I hope there will be interest in doing so.
I’m a great fan of the late Carl Sagan. He was more than a brilliant cosmologist. His philosophy was sound and his ability to see the future accurate. He wrote a speech called Pale Blue Dot. Many recordings of it can be found on YouTube. I think every human on earth should be required to hear Pale Blue Dot repeatedly until it sinks in. Earth is a little planet…a mere spec in a vast universe among many universes. Our planet is the only home we have ever known. If we destroy it, we have nowhere to run. Please, give Pale Blue Dot a listen. That is your homework assignment.
Sagan also wrote the following: “An extraterrestrial being, newly arrived on Earth…scrutinizing what we mainly present to our children in television, movies, newspapers (now the internet), magazines and many books…might easily conclude that we are intent on teaching then murder, rape, cruelty, superstition, credulity and consumerism.” I would add that we are teaching them that to use bloody violence to solve problems is heroic, and casual sex with many partners is a form of entertainment along with pornography, easily available to children. Think I’m wrong? Just scan the movies available on Netflix and Amazon. Check Young Adult novels at your library and experience the foul language n some of them. In time past the word hell heard on TV got your program banned. It wasn’t prudish, it was a matter of attempting to preserve civilized behavior. Open the tap a little and what happens; you end up with the F- bomb being used everywhere. We are in trouble and are ignoring it as, ‘Oh, that’s just how it is.’ Sometimes my posts will examine serious topics. Others time it will be fun. Welcome aboard. I hope you enjoy my blog. If you do, tell others. Thank you.
Paul Marshall
www.facebook.com/paulmarshallwrites/
